Pitiful attempt at poetry

Seeds

Within us all lies a garden
Beginning barren and bare
With work and toil
It flourishes with care

Soon the garden takes shape
Life that springs forth and grows
Shapes and colours of delight
Beauty and peace it shows

What this?
Something else stirs within
It does not belong
Destruction it bring

Quickly must it be removed
Least the garden pales in shades of grey
Weapons of love and care
All thrown into the fray

With ever watchful eyes and hands
Never allowing weeds to prevail
Nor any agents of destruction
Lest the Garden fail

Frustration!

Bureaucrats are stupid!
Authorities are corrupt!
Bankers are robbers! - With stupid workers.

That's what one has to go through after forced to get a car engine changed. Instead of easing the hardship, these ppl cause more aggravasion to one's blood pressure by strangling you with red tape just because you wanted to comply with the regulations.

May they rot in the documents asked.

A Teenager Now

Has it been another year already? She's turns 13 today, officially a teenager now. She got a watch for a birthday present, which was what she wanted. Actually she had asked for; Laptop Computer? {"No"}; New Phone? {"No"}; PDA? {"No"}; Watch? .... well, ok.

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will override conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

God/Tech Support: You're welcome, I'm here anytime.

Paulians of '81

Has it been 25 years? Yes, it has been that many years since form 5 in SMK St. Paul's (Secondary) Institution. Suddenly names and faces started resurfacing from the depths of memory so long left uncalled but not forgotten.

It started a few weeks ago when a collegue asked if I was a student of St. Paul's in Seremban. During one of the projects that I had worked with her, we had exchange some personal background and found that we were of the same acedemic years and from the same town. Although she did most of her studies in SMK Convent, her form 6 studies were in St. Paul's. My schoolmates who called the group Paulians 81-83 were looking for those whom had finished form 5 in 1981 or studied form 6 in 1982-1983. Reason being the OPA (Old Paulians Association) annual dinner was coming up and the association was looking for students who had left 25 and 50 years ago. Emails and phone calls were exchanged to round up the group. One of them took charge to head the roundup and consolidated all the contacts, even creating a blog for us to post up school-day photos.

The days passed with frequent updates and some jokes via emails. I had some apprehension about meeting up as I was not one of the 'elite' group of students who excelled in studies nor was I active in school societies. Most of those that kept in touch throughout the years had been from the 'higher' classes. I figured that to be noticed in school, one has to belong either of the two extremes.

Walking into the hotel lobby where the dinner was hosted, I passed a group that was quite jovial and a bit noisy. Not recognising any faces, I passed them thinking they were attending a wedding dinner and headed to the ballroom where I hoped to see some familiar faces. There I saw someone whom I presumed to be the organiser lead for Paulians 81/82-83 and I was right. It was Ravindran and sad to say, I am unable to recall his face nor name from the school days. I was brought to the group that I has passed earlier and Jacob Matthews, whom I could recognise easily. He has not changed much and glad to say, many could recognise yours truly as well. The Eng Hocks' were present, looking much more matured and well-taken-care-of.

It turned out to be a memorable evening, knowing either name or face and matching them up to current appearance. The class of '81 took honours of taking up 9 of the 105 tables that night. That in the history of OPA dinners, was a record for any single group thus far. We were later called to the stage for being the silver anniversary batch, joined by 5 (I think) from the golden anniversary group. We were represented by Father Julian, who recited a poem dedicated to the teachers of St. Paul's Institution.

While the appearances may have changed, the Paulian spirit remains. The bond of brotherhood for those who once studied and played together now stand by each other. The journey continues....

Bite your tongue...

Let them have the last word. For no matter how hard it may seem, it is not worth the effort to argue. Henceforth the saying, "Argue not with fools, for then it will be hard to distinguish the difference".

Not that Siti

The photo in the front page should be associated with Open UniverSITY, not Siti Nurhaliza :P

Manage time or managed by time?

Me to collegue: "Good morning."
Collegue to me (a few secs later) : "Mmm.. {pause} ... mm tuck hun."

That switch me to thinking mode. No time to return a greeting but able to explain why? Is it due to the reason that they are so focused that they are oblivious to everything else? I have many encounters where lengthy explainations take up the time that would have been used to achieved the desired result.

Oft do I wonder what kind of individuals we have around. There are some that are just mundane workers. They are good, very good at what they do but unable to fit into anything else. Then there is another I have identified... the "lazy jacks". These are not really lazy but would think their way around to get the work done with the least possible efforts. In other words, effectiveness is the objective. That'll be me.

Bad at Mathematics

I've never taken to Mathematics subject in school but now I can see some of its benefits... like making one laugh. That is provided you did pay attention in school.

Why I failed the maths subject:



I did what it asked me to do didn't I?


Simple deduction.


Ahh, logic rules.

Sometimes..

I hereby exercise my right to remain silent.

10 Steps You Can Take To Guarantee Failure

In the hustle and bustle of this technologically packed world you may decide you really don't want to achieve any lasting success in your lifetime. Sure, you can find a lot of strategies and tips here that can help you increase your success rate. But what about the people who are perfectly happy not achieving anything? Is it fair that I keep pushing and prodding if someone is content leaving behind a legacy of debt and mediocrity? hmmm...maybe not. So this is for all the people who want to have goals but not achieve them.

1. Make your goals vague - When setting your goals, use adjectives such as "more" and "some." Goals like "I want to make more money" or "I want to lose some weight" virtually guarantee your progress will be minimal. Be as wishy-washy as possible. And while you're at it, you might want to set a goal of getting a job doing something.
   
2. Make your goals difficult to visualize - A good way to do this is to keep changing your mind on the details of your goal. If you are thinking a goal such as: "I want to own a red, blue or yellow Corvette or just a Mustang", then you are definately on the right track. If you kept that goal planted firmly in your mind, you are virtually guaranteed you'll never go above a used Hyundai.
   
3. Think and speak negatively about your goals - Try using words like "I can't" and "It's too hard". Goals such as "I can't get a promotion, It's too hard to take on more responsibility" will certainly keep you at the bottom of the food chain. If you can put it in writing or work up enough courage to tell your boss directly, he or she will almost definately avoid promoting you from that point on. Who knows, you might get lucky and get fired! It's worth a shot anyway.
   
4. Avoid planning incremental steps - It's likely that if you have made it this far you are already following this rule already! Take a goal - even a specific goal like "I will double my income by this time next year". Then simply leave it as-is. Don't write down any tasks or steps you'll need to complete in order to achieve it. Just consider the goal a wish and nothing more. Creating a step-by-step plan will only confuse matters because it's all too easy to take action on simple steps. Action in the direction of your goal would lead to success and you definately don't want that.
   
5. Don't Do - Talk - Because talk is easier than action, this step one of the easiest steps for you to take. Try to fill up as much of your day with socializing as possible. Talk about all the things you will do someday or that you were gonna do. Just make sure you don't mess it up by doing anything productive. Action is your enemy. Embrace your excuses!
   
6. Wait until you are motivated - Let's face it, it's much too difficult to go jogging or open a mutual fund account when you simply don't feel like it. So just wait. Waiting gives you the peace of mind that someday, you might do something. But not yet, the timing isn't right and you aren't motivated anyway.
   
7. Don't set a date - Setting a date when you expect to achieve your goal is too much pressure. Who needs it? Definately not you if you want to avoid progress. You know that goals with dates get done, so by not setting a date you avoid making a commitment. You can keep putting off stuff. Even though people may ask "When are you ever going to get around to reaching your target?", you have a wild card. By not having a date, you can put off actually doing anything.
   
8. List why it's impossible - Now we are getting into the mental game of failing. This is quite possibly your greatest weapon against achievement because it destroys hope and optimism. So as soon as possible, set aside some time to create a long list of how impossible your goal really is. No matter what your target is, I am sure you can come up with plenty of reasons why it's impossible. Be creative, make up some if you have to (i.e. "It's impossible for me to lose weight because I was kidnapped by space aliens and injected with a fat-serum.") Bonus: You get extra points if you can come up with an excuse using UFOs, ghosts or the Bermuda Triangle.
   
9. Don't research your goal - You're the kind of guy or gal who likes to "wing it." Reading about how others have succeeded achieving a goal similar to you is just a waste of time. Instead of standing on their shoulders, they should be standing on yours! Sure, they might have overcome unbelievable odds to get from homelessness to CEO or 450lbs to a 180lbs - but they were probably just "lucky" anyway. Don't read anything that promises to help you get to your destination.
   
10. Think of anything except your goal - Here's another mental strategy that will put you on the fast track to failure. Think of anything except for your goal. Why visualize success when there's plenty of clouds, teddy bears, and TV reruns to think about? And while you're at it, take action on these flights of fancy instead of your goal. I know what you're thinking...you're thinking "I wonder if there are any green teddy bears out there?" Now you're getting it! Focusing on your goal for long periods of time can be difficult and challenging. Thinking about unicorns is easy and fun. Take the easy path, that's the only way you can fail in record time.
    

To conclude, I know you might be a bit overwhelmed with all the work you have to do to avoid reaching your goal. You might even think it's even more work. Never fear! You can do it. Print out a copy and hang it on your bathroom mirror. Post it in your office. Read it every day. Internalize these principals and you can reach depths of failure you have possibly never imagined!

Addendum: So if you succeed in failing, does this mean you have failed?

Nothing like the Real thing.

I'm not referring to Coca-cola ;-)

Highway Flybys

A raptor perched on a lampost. Now that's something you don't see everyday.

George Carlin's View on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50

And your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
    

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?

But do share this with someone.

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!

IT'S ALIIIIVE!!!

After more than a week of downtime, LH's pee-see is slowly on its way to operational capacity. All this was due to a problem with the "male gert" aka RAM.

150/100

I hope this was just another of those spikes due to circumstances and that i will not have to resort to daily medication to control it.

Ah-chooo...

I can see white shooting stars when i sneeze!

Breathe in, Breathe out....

Sometimes I need to breathe in so hard to the point of bursting my lungs so as not to disrupt the harmony.....

And times like this, biting my tongue till it might just sever...

Mentally Crippled

I would rather not work than to work inefficiently. When people are forced to do something that they are not cut out to do, they will probably do so grudingly. Where is the efficiency?
Staring at it will not make it go away, but it gives me resolve to overcome the matter... eventually.

Crippled but not handicapped.

Rippling effects

Imagine, the pond is calm.
What if you had a stone?
What if you have a target?
What if you have a point to make by throwing the stone at the target?
What if you had the right to do whatever you wish?

Think, what if you had hit the target.
Think, about the rippling effects the waves will have on the shores.
More so, think, about the difference if you could just put the stone down and walk away.....

Time stands still

Time is relative.
It slows when there one is going to meet the one he/she loves.
When together, it quickes and hastens the time to part.

When left in the dark, it does not seem to move at all.
It is so dark now....

Moving forward, but which way is forward?

How delightful! There is a kickoff for a "reengineering" project and there are questions as to why one "key" personnel was not invited. Well, maybe the "key" personnel fits into a different lock! Jokes aside, it does not really bother me. If I'm not wanted there, their loss and I wish them all the best. That is assuming they know what is good in the first place.

A comforting thought is that the question as to why I was not invited was asked by the users. My name and the product has been synonymous since the project began. Users knew who to call when they need help... and it is not the helpdesk!

So, they are moving forward... and for their sake, they better know what is their destination.

On Nutrition and Health

There has been so much research on nutrition and health. The facts and conclusion have been published and it's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
   
   
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
   
   
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
   
   
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
   
   
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

"Kai Tan"

Why is it that the best of sunsets occurs when you do not have the camera or the opportunity to shoot it? Can't blame the sunset but can't help feeling shortchanged by Murphy's Law.

This evening's sunset was spectacular. The Sun was a brilliant fireball just hanging low in the horizon. The surrounding skies were coloured in a deep orangy cast.

Where is my camera when I need it? At home, sitting pretty in its bag.

Wham, Bang and Kablooie

That what probably happens when the meteor (some said it was a meteorite) stuck Earth. I'm referring to one such incident that happened 50,000 years ago during the Pleistocene period. I was not around then but I was there during the science period, that's when my teacher told us about it. At least I think it was around then.

Why am I suddenly talking about this meteor? Well, it was during my flight from Orlando to LA when I saw this huge crater some distance away. Took a picture with the TLC to check out later if it was the same meteor crater I heard about from my school days.

This is a Google Earth image as viewed from 50 miles up. At the bottom right is a green line. That line represents my flight path as recorded (briefly) on my GPS. The coordinates on the top left is where the crater is. IT IS THE METEOR CRATER!!!

Yeah, I'm pretty much excited about it as it was one of those things that kept my interest in natural sciences when I was a kid.

Here's a bit of info on the crater:

The Meteor Crater, sometimes known as the Barringer Crater and formerly as the Canyon Diablo crater, is a famous impact crater, located about 35 miles (55 km) east of Flagstaff, near Winslow in the northern Arizona desert (USA). Its coordinates are 35°1′38″N, 111°1′22″W. Its elevation is 5,723 ft. The crater is somewhat misnamed, as it was actually excavated by a meteorite, not a meteor.

The crater is about 1,200 m (4,000 ft) in diameter, and some 170 m deep (570 ft). It is surrounded by a 45 m (150 ft) high rim of rock, raised above the surrounding plains by the force of the impact. The bottom of the crater is filled with rubble from the impact, to a depth of 213-244 m (700-800 ft) below the crater's center.

The object which excavated the crater was a nickel-iron meteorite about 50 meters (54.7 yards) across, which impacted the plain at a speed of several kilometers (miles) a second. The speed of the impact has been a subject of some debate. Modelling initially suggested that the meteorite struck at a speed of up to 20 kilometers per second (45,000 mph), but more recent research suggests the impact was substantially slower, at 12.8 kilometers per second (28,600 mph). It is believed that about half of the impactor's 300,000 tonne (330,693 ton) bulk was vaporized during its descent, before it hit the ground.

The impact produced a massive explosion equivalent to at least 2.5 megatons of TNT – equivalent to a large thermonuclear explosion and about 150 times the yield of the atomic bombs used at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The explosion dug out 175 million tons of rock. The shock of impact propagated as a hemispherical shock wave that blasted the rock down and outward from the point of impact, forming the crater. Much more impact energy, equivalent to an estimated 6.5 megatons, was released into the atmosphere and generated a devastating above-ground shockwave.

For a meteorite of its size, the impact melted surprisingly little rock, though it produced high enough temperatures and pressures to transform carbon minerals into diamonds and lonsdaleite, a form of diamond found near the crater in fragments of Arizona's Canyon Diablo meteorite. Limestone blocks as massive as 30 tons were tossed outside the crater's rim, and debris from the impact has been found over an area of 100 square miles (260 km²).

The shock of the impact would have produced a localized earthquake of magnitude 5.5 or higher. The blast and thermal energy released by the impact would certainly have been lethal to living creatures within a wide area. All life within a radius of three to four kilometers would have been killed immediately. The impact produced a fireball hot enough to cause severe flash burns at a range of up to 10 km (7 miles). A shock wave moving out at 2,000 km/h (1,200 mph) leveled everything within a radius of 14-22 km (8.5-13.5 miles), dissipating to hurricane-force winds that persisted to a radius of 40 km (25 miles).

Info sourced from Wikipedia

Geocaching Hunt Num 5 & 6

*Glum* Still no sight of the Lake Garden's cache after 3 attempts.
*Hurray* Found the one tucked away Bukit Nenas.

List of things for the Geocaching kit-bag:

1. Zip lock bags to protect delicate items where required
2. Some gift-tokens for exchange
3. Pencil/ Sharpener
4. Spare bottle/ Container
5. Spare "Buku 3-Lima"
   

Work Smart better than Work Hard

Those were the words of advise given by a prominent banker and one whom I would acknowledge as a leader. If only those whom I work with think more about that than trying to gauge achivements by the number of hours you show your face around the office. For me, if you need to endlessly work beyond the office hours shows two things;

1. The worker is inefficient or
2. There's something wrong with the organization

What about all the talk about work-life balance? From what I see, it is still office related activities. What life were they referring to? Some assume just because their lives revolve around the office, so should their subordinates.

Well, there might come a time when you would need skills and knowledge that will determine one's survival. How then will "office" help, since there might not be any left.

Need for compressed air!!

The East Cost island have reopened after the monsoon season and diving season has resumed. I have not logged any dives since August last year and I am eager to immerse myself underwater with scuba gear (but of course!). Finally confirmed to go but with a heavy heart as my dive buddy will not be there with me. The actual reason of how this trip came about was to spite someone. Lets just refer to that person as BS (as in BullShit).

When I organised a trip for this group last year, there was lots of fun and the weather had been kind. Visibility was an astounding 20 meters and possibly more. To give an idea of the conditions; I have never dived Tiger Reef in flat sea surface, zero current and near perfect visibility. Anyway, back to the story. Couple of weeks ago, I was informed that there was an arrangement to bring this group back to Tioman and the 'organiser' decided not include yours truly. Times like this we get a glimpse of who friends are when there were protests of why wasn't so-and-so included. Some of them encouraged me to go on my own and be there just to see the look on BS's face when I show up at the jetty.

I'm really not there to spite anyone though I would admit it was a bonus if it did. I would like to keep my skills polished and not deprive myself of compressed air for too long a time least I forget how to dive.

Choices

There's much I wish to say but to say it might bring hurt to someone.
Not saying would mean I will suffer in silence.
Better that I suffer in silence....

So Grown Up

She was born 14 years ago today. At seven and a half pounds, I could then cuddle her with one arm. Today she stands over 5 feet and 5 inches and still growing. One of the things she enjoyed was riding high on my shoulders. I am not able to carry her on my shoulders as I once did as with the 'flying high' and doing the 'giddy-rides'. The price of growing up I suppose. Of course she would be glad that she is grown up more than enough for the fun rides like the roller-coaster at amusement theme parks.

As long as I am able, she will still get a piggyback ride.

Happy Birthday 'girlie'.


P/S: Why do parents usually call their daughters 'girlie' and their sons 'boy-boy'?

Thoughts that Flash by

Once a while one of the many firing neurons gets a short-circuit and it comes up with things like this:

Bravery is just another word for Foolhardy.

The difference from using the former over the latter would be the motive.
So does this make steadfast mean stubborn?

Not the right answer does not constitute a wrong answer

Sometimes there are more than one answer to a question. Look beyond the obvious and it might amaze you. Here are some humourous takes:

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will get Wet or Sink as simple as that.

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid

Do we build or chip-away?

The twelve apostles stood for many centuries defying the wind and the waves that lash relentlessly at the foundations until at last they succeeded in bringing down one mighty structure. It was inevitable as there was nothing to replace that which the elements chip away.

Like the structures of stone, we took can only take so much before succumbing to emotional collapse. But unlike that of the earth, we can replace that which are lost to things that hurt us. Praises, appreciation and love contributes to building the human resilience but if not given often enough to offset the losses, we will end up like the pile of rocks.

Goodness is silent. But why?

Right now I have this overwhelming feeling that I cannot do things correctly. It does not matter what my reasons were except to stand for judgement. Strange that when in school we were told that the end-result did not matter as much as the workings to the answer.

Whatever good done would not weigh as much as a single glaring mistake. Does not matter that you have done a thousand good deeds. Focus will be on that fault and we will face the firing squad for that.

I am exaggerating but that is how I feel right now. Just so very, very down.

Of flying and time-zones

Departure Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 4.00pm Friday, 20/Jan06
Arrival Los Angeles, United States 4.30pm Friday, 20/Jan06
30 minutes of super-duper Sonic Trans-Pacific travel?

My bum however, did not agree with me as it recorded a 17 hour travel time (ok, that included an hour and a half stopover in Taipei).

A 6 hour 15 min transit for connecting flight of which half was spent at Starbucks... just to pass time then another 4 and a half hour flight to Orlando.

Total time taken?
28 hours and 20 minutes... give or take a few minutes of here to there.

Of Beasts and Monsters

===================================================

Excerpt from The Star : Monday January 16, 2006

Evening jog turned fatal for 25-year-old

By TUNKU SHAHARIAH

SUNGAI PETANI: An evening jog in the neighbourhood turned fatal for a 25-year-old marketing executive.

Choo Gaik Yap, who was jogging in Taman Ria Jaya around 6pm last Saturday, was found dead less than nine hours later. She had been raped and brutally stabbed.

Her half-naked body was found sprawled on the ground, about 200m from the housing area, at 2.35am yesterday.

Choo: Went jogging around 6pm last Saturday and was found dead less than nine hours later

It is believed the victim, a Universiti Utara Malaysia graduate, could have been tailed by her assailant, kidnapped and taken elsewhere to be raped and killed before her body was dumped near the housing estate.

Kuala Muda OCPD Assistant Commissioner Law Hong Soon said police were investigating the case under Section 376 and 302 of the Penal Code for rape and murder respectively.

Police recovered a pair of blood-stained jogging shoes beside Choo's body.

It is believed earth found on the soles of the shoes matched soil from another residential area, about 500m away.

Choo's body was sent to the Sungai Petani Hospital mortuary after the Alor Star's police forensic unit arrived at about 4am yesterday.

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I grew up watching TV shows of Ultraman battling monsters, Superman fighting super-criminals and a host of other super heroes who fights all sorts of baddies that come is all sorts of shapes and sizes. But none of those so-called monsters can ever match the evil of rapists cum murderers.

The pain is felt by all, even if we do not know her. Are we not all of flesh and blood pumped by a heart that stretches its emotions to bind the world in humanity? Apparently not, for there are true monsters that walks among us disguised in mortal form.

Au Revoir 2005

I tried to take it as how I would normally treat any other day but I guess there is too much energy charged into the atmosphere. Everyone seemed excited and happy to embrace 2006. Poor 2005, having experienced the same revelry a year ago was now ready to step aside. What I like are the flashbacks usually featured in the newspapers. The mix of good and bad laid in print to pass into the annals of history. From hindsight, may we gain wisdom for foresight.

As the clock ticks on to the midnight hour, a steady stream of SMSs' bearing New Year wishes from friends and acquaintance alike. We had crabs for dinner and since its celebration time, we treated ourselves to those huge crabs, something like the Sri Lankan crabs or Australian Mud crabs. Dunno what type except it was delicious.

Deliberating whether to go a place where I can get a nearer and better view of the fireworks display. At the eleventh hour (literally), off I went to the Elevated Highway that would bring me pretty close to the KLCC park, one of the few venues that would have a pyrotechnic display every new year. I oft wondered how many others would have the same idea of stopping by on the highway to see fireworks show. This year I can testify personally, way too many! My guess is by the time the fireworks are lighting the sky, the entire highway would have been lined with cars, one end to the other. Ok, the highway is only 8km long but that would translate into a 8km jam after that. I parked pretty far up to try avoiding most of the traffic but to no avail. I spent the first one and the half hour of 2006 in a traffic jam! I sure hope this is not a sign of things to expect for this year.

What's my resolution for the new year? Nothing. I don't need to wait for the year to end if change is called for. Now is the time to change, for better or for worse, only time will reveal.